Today we’d like to introduce you to Robin Ownby
Hi Robin, we’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
Marry Me, Robin had an unusually natural path to its inception. After working as a freelance journalist/contributing editor for Memphis Health + Fitness and Focus Mid-South magazines for a decade, I naturally became a better LGBTQIA+ ally. Each interview I did for Focus Mid-South (the Memphis-area LGBTQIA+ and allies’ magazine) introduced me to a new group with a charitable mission or a person with a rich and moving story. I learned how people came out, how their families and friends supported (or didn’t support) them, how they follow their passions and find every possible way to be authentic to themselves. I think it’s so brave and admirable to be fully yourself- most of us don’t feel safe or permitted to do that until late in life- after we have accomplished the things we are “supposed to”. I joined a group or two myself and volunteered for OUTMemphis fairly regularly for a year or two. In 2018 I was awarded a publishing award and the Allie Award (for allyship to the community) by Focus Mid-South magazine. This only motivated me to dig deeper and pinpoint where I could do the best work possible with my skill set.
In 2019, the Tennessee legislature proposed a bill that would make online-ordained officiant weddings invalid. This limiting action left only houses of worship, courthouse weddings, and independent ministers (like me) as options for solemnizing a marriage. It felt like a direct attack on nonreligious people and the LGBTQIA+ population who may not feel comfortable or would not be allowed to marry within their religion. In response to the legislation, one of those online churches, American Marriage Ministries, traveled through Tennessee and ordained people in person- a loophole to the proposed law. I thought perhaps someday some of my friends may need someone to marry them, so I showed up and became ordained in-person. Adding to the problem, during COVID-19, the Shelby County Courthouse weddings ceased, and still have no plans to resume. This removes yet another option for our nonreligious and LGBTQIA+ weddings!
When I started, I had previously performed a vow renewal ceremony for some friends and had earlier experience with substitute teaching and tutoring, so I knew I could handle the public speaking element of officiating. What I didn’t consider was how natural it would feel getting to know my couples and writing them a fully customized ceremony that felt unique to them. I married a few couples who found me via word-of-mouth through friends and did several weddings and elopement ceremonies between 2020-2022 and decided it should be my business.
In early 2023 I applied for an LLC and became a Tennessee notary public. With my American Marriage Ministries training, a decade of interview skills under my belt, and that notary stamp, I became Marry Me, Robin, LLC- named after the surprise marriage proposal my husband Shane made at the Big Gay Dance Party in 2019 in front of all of my friends. (He is also a tremendous ally and romantic.)
To date I have done fifty weddings- each different- tailored to match a wedding’s level of formality (or fun!) and a couple’s vibe.
I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
Honestly, considering I didn’t have any business classes to prepare me for this, it has been relatively streamlined. I hired a company to handle my LLC and a solid business accountant, and I do the rest. Most of my couples still come from word of mouth or through advertising in Facebook groups or Instagram posts. I think it’s important to have some handle on modern-day social media and graphic design. A professional website was out of reach for my startup, so I had to do what I could to learn about creating a simple site design. I couldn’t do my business design without Canva Pro- and being a sole-ownership operation in this field, I have no sales tax to deal with.
I accept cash or Venmo (plus a small processing fee), don’t require a deposit, and am quite flexible with my work hours and writing. Couples who elope get a handful of tastefully edited photos with their package, because most do not have a photographer, and I want them to have memories of their special day.
All of my weddings are recorded as civil weddings, and while I consider myself a “holy holiday Episcopalian”, I have tremendous respect for those of different faiths, non-practicing spiritualists, agnostics, atheists, and antitheists! There are, however, two old-school terms I will not use in a wedding: “Obey” and “who gives this bride”. Alternatively, I will say, “Who presents this [person] to be married?” I do not discriminate based on gender, sex, sexuality, race, or religion, but there are certain things I cannot do- rites and rituals from those religious aren’t in my wheelhouse. I have performed two weddings for Catholic couples because the church refused to marry them. It breaks my heart to see a church not fully love and serve its congregation and frustrates me to no end to see that couple return to that church and continue to give them money. I wish all couples- especially those so committed to their faiths- could have the wedding they’ve dreamed of- whatever that looks like to them.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
What sets me apart is my interview questions and the conversational nature of my meetings with clients. I’m respectful but very casual when I first meet a couple, and it allows people to be themselves when we talk. That way I get a real feel of how they are at home, with friends and family, and alone together. I like to watch them visually check in with each other as they both tell versions of an engagement story, remembering different details. Guests at weddings often ask how long I’ve known the couple or say how well I seem to know who they are. That is the highest praise I can receive! If the couple is comfortable with me and I know them, it relaxes everyone a bit on what is usually a stressful, costly, uncomfortable day. We always laugh a little, and that makes for the best ceremony photos! I like to think I have a “cool aunt vibe”, where I will pause and quietly comfort/remind/adjust with the couple and wedding party during a ceremony to help make it as enjoyable as possible.
During one of my weddings, the guests learn a bit about the couple, the family and wedding party feel included and appreciated, and the couple knows they’re in good hands.
I also take time to explain the different marriage certificate papers and ensure that each couple’s paperwork is safely returned to the clerk for them, so all they have to do after their wedding is enjoy the honeymoon! Each marriage license is recorded as I drop it in the slot at the post office, so couples know when they’re official.
I started officiating weddings to give access to the LGBTQIA+ community, but I marry all kinds of people!
What does success mean to you?
Success, for me, is doing or creating something that feeds your soul without causing harm to others. Love is for everyone. I love to help people feel confident, valued, and seen.
Pricing:
- Mobile Notary: $50
- Elopement (10 people or fewer, comes with photos): $250
- Wedding Rehearsal: $150
- Wedding: $350
- Commitment/Vow Renewal is priced as a wedding
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.marrymerobin.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marryme.robin/
- Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@marrymerobinllc?_t=8mjV2MuYuli&_r=1
