Today we’d like to introduce you to Stacey Duncan.
Hi Stacey, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.
My name is Stacey, and if you asked my community to tell you a few things about me, I am guessing they would tell you one or more of the following: I am married with three kids, my faith is important to me, I work at Rhodes College, I have a Girl Scout troop, and I love volunteering with Spreading Sunshine.
My story is this. I was raised in such a loving home, with two hard-working parents that made sure I had every opportunity that they didn’t have. There is no story about me, that doesn’t include me watching my parents work multiple jobs to pay the bills, but also being my softball coaches, the Room Mom, active in the PTO, and always a constant presence and source of security for me. I grew up just around the corner from Treadwell Elementary School in Highland Heights. My third-grade teacher at Treadwell, Mrs. Moffatt, worked incredibly hard to get me transferred to Grahamwood Elementary and placed in the CLUE program. When I started in CLUE, an entire new world opened up for me. The power of a teacher, should never be underestimated and cannot be overstated. My love for education and experiential learning truly began in fourth grade.
My career at Rhodes College began in 2011. I began working full-time during my undergraduate studies and really felt pulled towards the education field. Growing up, my mother always told me that I should be a teacher. Since she told me that, I did the only feasible option and went an entirely different direction, earning a Bachelor’s in Business Administration. Fortunately, I was still able to find my way back to education, and I am incredibly thankful for that. College students, especially Rhodes students, have so much to offer. The love our students have for the Memphis community, the environment, the pursuit of knowledge and growth, and each other is a gift to see and experience.
Some key events that have shaped who I am may seem random, but to me they are all the pieces of the Stacey Puzzle. In high school, I learned about a fellow student whose younger siblings wouldn’t be receiving any Christmas gifts. Around that same time, I read 1 John 3:17 “If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?” This verse still resonates with me today. My friends and I got together and somehow bought gifts for the entire family. One of the most soul fulfilling times of my life will always be dropping off Christmas gifts to that family. My entire life, my parents have always shown me that you should be an active and contributing member of the communities that you belong to. My parents have always volunteered at my school, my sports teams, my church, and my community.
As an adult, I had an experience where I wasn’t believed, just because I am a woman. I vowed to my husband that I would raise our two daughters to be better advocates for themselves than I had been in that situation and that our son would be raised to view women as human beings with just as much value as men. Additionally, my husband’s aunt (who I viewed as a mother-in-law figure) was murdered by her husband. The loss of Aunt Stella was such a shock and a massive loss. I will never know if that was the first or last instance of domestic violence in her home.
My mission to raise tiny strong women began with one of my best friends and I starting a Girl Scout troop in Bartlett, TN. What we thought might be a small group that would provide new experiences to a few girls has grown into a troop of around 40 girls ranging from Kindergarten to 10th grade. We have an extraordinary group of volunteers that help shape this troop. These women teach me, just as they teach the girls, to believe in myself and to be bold. Troop 13295 is so much more than cookies (although we are almost entirely funded by cookies). We are committed to serving our community and making long-lasting impacts on the people around us. Whether we are volunteering at the local nursing home, making bat boxes for the local school, collecting items for the Hospitality Hub, hosting a sock drive to support the local middle school initiative, or something else- We are constantly working to be more than just entertainment for girls. We are more than the sum of our parts and we have so much to offer.
Spreading Sunshine is an organization that my heart never knew it needed, but it does. I reached out to Spreading Sunshine just to see if my Girl Scout troop could help the organization in some way. Because of the work that Spreading Sunshine does, the volunteer work is mostly suited for adults. I still wanted to uphold my offer, so I registered as a volunteer and went to an event. There I met “my buddy” who has a permanent place in my heart. My buddy, like all children registered with Spreading Sunshine, has a chronic illness that will never be cured. She and her family have welcomed me into their family over the past few years, and it is one of the greatest honors that I hold dear. My buddy inspires me as I see her facing challenges and persevering with resiliency and joy.
I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
Sometimes the road has been very rough. I have made choices that were influenced by comparing myself and where I was in life to others. I am thankful for a family and community that have always met me in these moments and allowed me to pivot with grace. I give more transparency and insight on these missteps when I see someone feeling that same pressure to be just like everyone else or have a certain set of milestones completed by a specific age. There have also been times where I was unable to advocate for myself. Motherhood can truly teach you to be stronger than you ever thought possible. I learned to just step into the discomfort, because if I cannot learn to appropriately and respectfully advocate for myself, how can I teach my children and those that I volunteer with to do the same?
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
My work, whether professionally or personally, has always been to support the vision and mission of the community to which I belong. No role is less important than another.
At Rhodes, my official title is Director of Accounting Services. I love all of the things you would think a Director of Accounting Services loves: guidelines, spreadsheets, pivot tables, perfectly reconciled records, etc… But I also love facilitating a First Year Seminar course, serving on search committees, participating in student events, and supporting our students. Much of my work is to support the broader campus community behind the scenes and, together, support the college’s mission.
If I teach my children, my buddy, and my scout troop anything, I hope it is that they realize the power of service to others, being an active member of their communities, and sharing with others.
Many people have told me that I am an empath or have an empathetic spirit. Maybe they are right, but I feel like I am just a very normal person with basic care and compassion for others. I don’t understand how anyone cannot feel compelled to help during times of need. I know that may seem ignorant or naive, but I truly don’t comprehend how to not be this way.
What quality or characteristic do you feel is most important to your success?
I don’t shy away from a challenge or hard work. If I am part of a mission I believe in, I won’t stop working. (Check on your Girl Scout Leader friends after cookie sales!) But I was raised this way, and my entire family works incredibly hard. No one works harder than my Dad. When I was a kid, my grandmother told me a story about my dad lying on a job application at Kroger to help his family pay bills. I believe he was 13 but said he was older. At that time, dress shoes were required to work. So everyday, my dad waited for his dad to come home from work and take off his shoes. My father then put on that one pair of shoes the family owned and headed out to work. My brother, a homicide detective, works countless hours for families that have lost a loved one. My mother is the person that works so hard to allow others to shine and never craves the spotlight.
Surrounding yourself with people who will work with you for that vision you believe in, can’t make any amount of work more bearable. I am so thankful for the family I have, the colleagues, the friends, and the opportunities to give back.
