Today we’d like to introduce you to Ponya Dodson.
Hi Ponya, it’s an honor to have you on the platform. Thanks for taking the time to share your story with us – to start maybe you can share some of your backstory with our readers?
Life for me was not a “Crystal Stair”- My story actually started in elementary school- where I experienced bullying everyday and this lasted throughout high school and into the beginning of my adult years.
You see I have been
pretty small my entire life.
The size now is the biggest I’ve ever been, outside of being pregnant.
But when I was younger,
I was extremely small, very smart- I had long hair, gapped teeth, and I wore glasses.
So some of the things I would hear on a continual basis were:.
– YOU ARE TOO SKINNY
– THEY WOULD CALL ME OLIVE OIL ( THE WIFE OF POPEYE)
– I WAS CALLED A MOP
BECAUSE I WAS SKINNY WITH LONG HAIR
I WAS CALLED A NERD!
– OR THEY WOULD MAKE FUN OF MY TEETH AND MY GLASSES
Being a child hearing those words continually- it began to affect me mentally.
I no longer liked the person that I was seeing in the mirror.
I begin to believe the negative words being spoken over and to me.
This ultimately made me develop not low, but no self esteem- So I became an easy target to fall into the hands of becoming a victim of Domestic Violence.
Domestic Violence started for me at the young age of 16.
A time when I should have been enjoying my teenage years, I was busy hiding my scars.
Of course, the relationship did not start as Domestic Violence. The beginning was great, especially for me. Remember I am the same girl that was being talked about and embarrassed daily.
So for this guy to show even the slightest bit of attention towards me, I thought I was winning.
AND THINGS THEN BEGIN TO TAKE A TURN FOR THE WORST. THE WORDS OF ADORATION CHANGED QUICKLY TO WORDS OF HUMILITATION AND DISDAIN- ALWAYS FOLLOWED BY THE “I’M SORRY”. I WENT THROUGH THIS FOR MANY YEARS AND AT THE AGE OF 18, I MARRIED MY ABUSER.
YES, I MARRIED MY ABUSER, I WAS IN LOVE- HE WAS MY 1ST OF MANY EXPERIENCES AND I GENUINELY THOUGHT HE LOVED ME AND HE WOULD CHANGE.
I LEARNED EARLY ON THAT YOU CAN NOT CHANGE A PERSON, THEY HAVE TO WANT IT ON THEIR OWN.
MY THEN HUSBAND AND I WERE MARRIED FOR TWO OF WHAT SEEMED THE LONGEST YEARS OF MY LIFE. UNTIL ONE DAY, I HAD AN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH MOMENT AND I MADE THE DECISION THAT I DESERVED BETTER- MY SON DESERVED BETTER AND I LEFT. WAS IT EASY TO LEAVE? NO OF COURSE NOT, BUT I HAD TO CHOOSE TO LIVE INSTEAD OF CHOOSING TO ADAPT. I DID NOT UNDERSTAND AT FIRST WHY I HAD TO DEAL WITH DOMESTICE VIOLENCE AND ABUSE AT SUCH A VERY YOUNG AGE- BUT YEARS LATER GOD BEGIN TO REVEAL.
ALL OF MY WHAT SEEMDED “TRAMATIC” CIRCUMSTANCES- THEY HELPED TO INCREASE MY FAITH TO A LEVEL THAT- WHATEVER COMES MY WAY- IT MAY KNOCK ME OFF COURSE TEMPORARILY BUT I ALWAYS GET RIGHT BACK UP AND I GET BACK UP FIGHTING- LET’S SEE, I WAS BULLIED FROM ELEMENTARY TO ADULTHOOD.
I STARTED BEING ABUSED BY MY THEN BOYFRIEND AT THE AGE OF 16
I GOT PREGANT WITH MY 1ST CHILD IN HIGH SCHOOL AT THE AGE OF 17
I ENTERED INTO A HORRIBLE MARRIAGE AT THE 18 WHERE I EXPERIENCED YEARS OF PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE, AND NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCES
I ENDURED THE LOSS OF A CHILD- MY ONLY DAUGHTER AT THE AGE OF 19,
I THEN WENT THROUGH A HORRIBLE DIVORCE AT THE AGE OF 20,
NOW I AM ABLE TO SHARE MY TESTIMONY IN HOPES OF PREVENTING SOMEONE FROM EXPERIENCING ALL THAT I DID, AND IF SOMEONE IS ALREADY IN A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SITUATION I WANT TO GIVE THEM THE HOPE TO KNOW THAT THEY TOO CAN EXPERIENCE LIFE AFTER DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, IT WAS NOT THEIR FAULT, AND THEY DID NOT DESERVE THIS. I AM NOW MARRIED TO MY BEST FRIEND OF ALMOST 26 YEARS AND LIFE FOR ME IS FAR GREATER THAN I EVER EXPECTED.
OUT OF THE PAIN OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE- WE BIRTHED OUT OF NONPROFIT BEAUTY BEYOND THE SCARS.
AND WE WORK HARD DAILY TO PROVIDE A MESSAGE OF HOPE AND STRENGTH. MY JOURNEY WAS A STRUGGLE, BUT I WOULD NOT CHANGE THE PATH TAKEN, BECAUSE IF I DID I WOULD NOT BE THE PERSON I AM ON TODAY.
I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
No, it has not been a smooth road after experiencing Domestic Violence. After leaving I had mental flashbacks of the abusive incidents that I experienced. I went through so much stress while being in the marriage that I developed a heart condition that I dealt with for 20+ years. I had major trust issues when it came to being in a relationship. I also had to learn how to be on my own, I moved out and got married at the age of 18, so after divorcing it was only my son and I. When I did get with my current husband, I thought that he was supposed to hit me to show that he loved me, but he quickly showed me what it was to be truly loved unconditionally.
Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
I am the Ceo and founder of the nonprofit- Beauty Beyond the Scars.
“Beauty Beyond the Scars” nonprofit was designed to aid individuals and their family members that are currently in or have experienced Domestic Violence, Abuse, or Loss.
Beauty Beyond the Scars mission is to help provide an opportunity for healing, restoration, emotional resurrection, and redemption in the great city of Memphis by rendering resources such as domestic violence awareness for both teens and adults, bullying awareness for students, empowerment sessions, and de-escalation workshops showing youth and young adults how to handle real life situations. Beauty Beyond the Scars provides support and works daily to reinforce the message that no matter what SCARS you may be wearing there is still beauty and there can be life after Domestic Violence.
Annually, Beauty Beyond the Scars hosts the “I Survived It” Walkathon against Domestic Violence where hundreds unite in purple walking for Purpose, Life, and Change to bring awareness, while celebrating survivors and honoring those that lost their lives in the fight.
They also host the “Purposed Through My Pain” Survivor’s Brunch and Butterflies & Bravery where they honor and celebrate transformation by providing the message of Faith. Hundreds of lives are impacted yearly by Beauty Beyond the Scars, and they are working hard every single day to increase their assistance and even harder to decrease the Domestic Violence statistics.
Our motto is: “We want to create impact and not just leave an impression”
I am most proud of the opportunity that God has allowed for me to be able to use my mess as an inspiring message- to be a beacon of light and hope for others.
What sets me apart from others would be the fact I am Ponya Dodson and although my experiences may seem similar to someone else’s- the journey is definitely not the same.
What were you like growing up?
Growing up- I was an only child. My mother and I were extremely close. If you saw my mother you saw me. I had a great childhood despite the bullying. I was very athletic. I was a cheerleader and loved running track. I was always very comical- I think this was a way of masking all that I was going through. I collected barbie dolls and loved to write poetry, I made good grades in school and I would love to read.
Contact Info:
- Website: beautybeyondthescars.com
- Instagram: beautybeyondthescars18
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/1M2KMKRYuw/
Image Credits
William Fuller Marquez Curtis
